Dear Papa
From the contents of your various e-mails to your doctor, and also to other foreign specialists requesting for their opinions, I think you should try to tackle the problems in two ways. You should consider the following points :-
Point 1 - Get a proper diagnosis done
Although you exhibit most of the symptoms of cognitive disorders, normally associated with PD, you must remember that all these are "suspects" only, in the sense that you are "suspected" of having the illnesses alleged. The foreign doctors' suggestions and opinions to you are only "opinions" and "views". These are general pavement's and need actual verification and diagnosis. I would suggest that before you make your trip to any psychologist for psychiatric treatment, or even any other treatments of any nature whatsoever, you should consult your doctor who is treating you for PD, so that a proper diagnosis can be made. With a detailed diagnosis done, your doctor treating you for PD can suggest further treatment of such cognitive disorders, and may recommend you certain doctors/specialists in that area, and you proceed from there.
Point 2 - You have to be mentally stronger
I also note that Dr. Fernendez suggested more aggressive treatment to counter the effects of your alleged cognitive disorders. No doubt that it will be beneficial for the effects to be controlled by means of further treatments, it must also be noted that most of the time, whether you can combat (or at least minimize the effect of) the illness, depends a lot on yourself. This is especially pertinent for issues related to the mind. You have to get a hold of yourself and be strong mentally. Remember, your ill feelings towards Mummy and members of your family, may not be due to yourself, but it is due to the effect of the alleged cognitive disorders you are suffering from. You will have to try your best to "downplay" the ill feelings when it arises. Look at the cognitive disorders as a monster within you. You have to overcome it, in order to be happy. Remember, just as other people are expected to be sensitive to your feelings, you must also realize that others are only human. There is only as much that they can take. It is just like a pregnant lady, feeling really bad, goes to court and shout at the judge. She cannot turn around and say, "Hey sorry, I am pregnant and I don't feel good today". She is expected to keep her emotions checked. Similarly, dad, you must be strong and try to keep your emotions checked. Try to occupy your mind with your favourite things. Maybe cultivate a hobby for example. All these goes towards making you happier, and also minimizing on further tension with your family, particularly Mummy.
I am glad that your issues with Mummy has been settled. At least she now knows what your likes and dislikes are. And as mentioned two days ago, she will not repeat those issues that you are not comfortable with. I would suggest that you try to prevent any "building-up" of ill feelings. Pent-up anger is your worst enemy, particularly in your case, whereby you suspect that you are suffering from cognitive diseases from PD. Pent-up anger is the sidekick of PD. It feeds into your depression, and as a result, make you over react to a situation, which can be solved very easily. Try talking (nicely lah) early to Mummy once you see an issue you are uncomfortable with, as compared to an "explosion", which can also make the other party react aggressively.
I am very sure that you can successfully conquer the ill effects of the alleged cognitive disorders of PD that have been bothering you. I am sure all of us are fully supportive of you in your combat.
But first and foremost, please get a proper diagnosis done by your doctor, rather than being bothered by suspicions based on opinions given generally by the foreign experts. From then on, we proceed step by step.
Regards
Richard Foo
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