Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Parkinson's is not the end

Parkinson's is Not The End

A Good Evening to you all. For those that do not know me, I have Progressive Supranuclear Palsy. It is under the "Parkinsons Plus" umbrella. It progresses much quicker than Parkinsons and is normally terminal. It is what killed the Actor Dudley Moore. I probably have 6 months before I cannot type anymore. I am legally blind now and have all but lost my voice. I have retrocollis dystonia and fall backwards. I have eye, shoulder and neck surgery coming up. I am 49 years old. Here is my message, then a true life story of one night with this disease. My message is don't give up on one another. See one another all the way through. Have hope and know brighter days are here if you want them to be. Choose brighter days and live your life well. Don't let Parkinsons define you. Now the Story: Last night, I awoke, thinking I heard sounds coming from our living room. I heard a voice calling out "Mom". I tried to move but could not. Then tried to reach to alert Tammy, but my arms would not move. I could not speak. The sounds were still there, footsteps, shuffling around type noises. I remember yelling, though knowing that no sound was coming from me. Finally, I was able to move my legs over the side of the bed and fall to the floor. I could not stand, so crawled from the bedroom to the living room. I sat up against the wall and took a good look around. Nobody was there. I felt someone run fingers through my hair. Thinking it was Tammy, I tried to look up, but my eyes would not open (eyelid apraxia) right away. When finally my eyes opened, there was no one there. Something told me to check my blood-sugar. I crawled to the cabinet, pulled myself up and retrieved my tester. I have been diabetic for about 4 years. Never overweight, always ate smartly, it came from nowhere. The meter indicated "49", almost coma stage for me. I checked it again, and the result was the same. I felt I could walk and started toward the refrigerator. I was wrong and fell backwards hitting the floor hard. I was dazed but still conscious. I heard someone scream behind me, but something told me it was not real. I was thinking "this is it". I crawled to the refrigerator without bieng able to see. I could not reach the orange juice, but felt a can and opened it...it was Coke. I drank it and was able to feel a bannana and ate it. Within 20 minutes, I felt much better. Diabetes and PSP almost killed me. I cannot tell you how good it feels to still be here.
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