Growing Old is Wonderful

:: True Story

Growing old is wonderful - Dr Chew Nee Kong - 4 April 2006

Without realizing it, I am turning 40 this year. Overall, I feel I’m still the same, except probably just a bit wiser. My body has still not shown signs of giving up (I think so), except for some wrinkles around my eyes. Even my medical students have complaint that they couldn’t catch up with my pace when we walked round the hospital. For the past 40 years, I had always known of this inevitable and natural process called ageing, but somehow I have never seen myself as an ageing man. So you can imagine my shock when, a few days ago, a friend of mine suggested that I could be facing a mid-life crisis!
Frankly speaking, I don’t think I am really facing a mid-life crisis. My real problem is that I just “forgot” to catch up with my age. And finally, after 40 years of existence in this world, someone has made me realize that I should start “behaving and thinking” like a middle-aged man.

Naturally, almost everyone who is approaching the end of life will worry about the impending loss of physical, mental, occupational and social functions as a result of natural ageing and illnesses. The middle-age period is also the time for reflection – thinking and wondering about many life events (both good and bad) that took place in the past.
As for me, so many events took place in my life that shaped me to be who I am now and so many wonderful surprises came into my life that formed my “memory album”. Upon reflection, I am pleasantly surprised that I have accumulated a wealth of life experiences that can only be claimed by an “old” person, the most special of which was my discovery of the Parkinson’s support group.

This memorable event took place during the Parkinson’s support group meeting at Hong Kong SAR back in 2001. I was struck by the perseverance and determination of Mr Lloyd Tan Pao Chan, our beloved Life President and founding father of Malaysian Parkinson’s Disease Association (MPDA). His mere presence at the meeting was enough to show the world how hard he tried to overcome all odds, despite being wheelchair-ridden, to travel all the way to Hong Kong SAR. I also met Ms Sara Lew, a former President of MPDA, who was responsible for “dragging” me into the arms of MPDA
My involvement in the MPDA was really unique in the sense that it opened up a totally new dimension in my life. I was literally thrown into a new world which was totally different from the hospital that I had previously thought to be my only world. All the events that subsequently took place in the MPDA were like a chain reaction – each wonderful surprise led to another over the past five years.

What is most spectacular about the MPDA is that it is actually a big and loving family that has been disguised as a non-governmental organization (NGO). The committee members were unique in the sense that despite comprising people from all walks of the life, they felt strongly for each other. Some of them are best remembered for their remarkable personality. Whenever I drank coffee with my British colleagues while in London back in 2003, I had always remembered Ms Eva Chong. She is better known as the beautiful and sweet lady who serves me coffee every time we have committee meeting on Saturday afternoons. Ms Lisa Yap is the cool and elegant lady who has always reminded me that LIFE IS GREAT. Mr Chee Liew Seong, our beloved present President, has always had this fatherly figure in him – his pleasant personality has a strong calming effect whenever there is any internal conflict. Ms Tan Teck Bee, the longest serving committee member of MPDA, has always been an attractive and loving lady who spices up the meetings.

Whenever I talk about the MPDA committee members, I cannot avoid revealing to the whole world that they are one of the best NGO teams in Malaysia. In a telephone conversation, Ms Lisa Yap summarized everything about the MPDA committee in the most accurate and touching manner: “Over the past five years, the committee members’ love for the MPDA has grown tremendously. They have a common vision which has strengthen the bond between each of them. And whatever they do, it is for the sake of MPDA and members, and not for the sake of themselves”.

But life is not always sweet in the MPDA. Internal conflicts are part and parcel of life in any family. Occasionally there are some people who have placed their own interest above that of the MPDA. Ironically, even these “trouble-makers” are generally honest and have actually contributed to the big family. I always believe that as long as we continue to hold on to our true values, the integrity of the organization will not be compromised. As the saying goes, “honesty is the way to charity”.

Talking about honesty again, I have always remembered Ms Sara Lew’s comments about some good Samaritans who just simply “dropped down from the sky”:
“Whenever the MPDA is down, somehow someone will come along its way and help it to stand up again. This will continue to happen as long as the society knows that we are sincere.”

The list of good Samaritans whom we have encountered is just too long. Ms Gharizah Hashim and the local support group in Negeri Sembilan have been our close friends for many years. Ms Gharizah is always remembered for her trademark “Smile and Be Happy Always”. I have always been impressed by her charisma and optimism (she never says die). The late Mr Ismail Sulaiman and his family have always had MPDA in their hearts. What is most touching is the fact that Mr Sulaiman’s family had fulfilled the pledge made by him prior to his demise by giving us a big helping hand in the setting up of the Parkinson’s Club (PC). Mr and Mrs Tan Hang Kim are best remembered as the loving couple who have significantly contributed to the PC.
Mr Ian Goh is always appreciated for creating one of the best support group websites in Malaysia. I think the MPDA website is probably his way of remembering his late father who had succumbed to Parkinson’s Disease. Mr Wilson Wong, our new friend who has recently given the MPDA website a “new life”, is best remembered as the youngest university lecturer whom I have ever met in my life. Other than all the wonderful people mentioned above, it is just impossible to mention about many more friends that we are greatly indebted to. At present, the MPDA is certainly not the most established or largest NGO in Malaysia. However, in view of the limited resources and manpower that it faces, the MPDA is already a story of success. The MPDA has been able to shower the local Parkinson’s community with love, which is actually much more important than sophisticated equipments and ten storey office buildings owned by many other NGOs. The most important point to remember is that all of us have to be contented with the current achievement of the MPDA.
I can never forget the love song that Mr Koh Hun Wai, a Parkinson’s sufferer and committee member of MPDA, sang during the Seremban Charity Dinner that took place in 2005. He had dedicated the song to his wife, who had been his pillar of strength for many years. And he went on to deliver this emotional speech that came straight from his heart:
“To all the Parkinson’s sufferer, I would like to urge you to be not ashamed of your physical disability. Whenever people stare at your trembling hands, just go straight up to them and tell them that you have Parkinson’s Disease, instead of shying away from them”. That touching event made me realize that the most natural and purest form of beauty in life is the love that you shower on other unfortunate people. And since then, I had found that the mountain, sea and sky were no longer as beautiful as I had previously thought.
The recent birth of the PC, as a special place for the Parkinson’s community to share their love, is another important milestone in the history of the MPDA. The PC will be the “heart” of the MPDA because it will determine the future direction and progress of this association. I hope that all of us will focus our energy and time on the PC as it will bring the MPDA into another dimension in community work. The rise or fall of the MPDA, and also its destiny, will lie in the development of the PC.
Interestingly, my involvement in the MPDA also led me to some other social activists who were outside the association. My most remarkable friends are Mr Anthony Thanasayan and Mr Andrew Martin, who have fought hard for the rights of the under-privileged community in Malaysia. Mr Thanasayan, who has been disabled since childhood, has made me wonder whether the inability to walk is really a “physical disability”. And both of them have also taught me a lot about life and love, and I am thankful to them for this.
Having said so much about all the wonderful things about the MPDA, I certainly cannot ignore the other side of my life – my medical career. Despite being a rewarding duty, voluntary work can be quite “punishing” as it adds to the existing work-related stress in my medical career. Ever since the very day I found the MPDA, I had always thought that I would eventually leave the MPDA after I have done “enough” for the Parkinson’s community. However, as the years went by, I have realized that there will not be any “enough is enough” in the MPDA. The truth is that, over the years, I had gradually and unknowingly built my world around this wonderful family, and now I know that it is already too late for me to leave.
To sum up everything, growing old is actually wonderful. Appreciating the present and past happiness should be an essential part of “getting old”. As I approach the last third of my life, I wish to continue to store all these wonderful surprises in my “memory album”, where I cherish the images of my mother, Mr Anthony Thanasayan, Mr Andrew Martin and all the friends in the MPDA.
I hope I can live up to the age of 50 to tell more wonderful stories about my life and the MPDA. And while waiting for the very day when I will become a much wiser old man, I will continue to look back, and reflect on the past…..